I Might Not Be Allowed to Be Called Japanese Anymore

Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!


It happened. The perfect storm of events that might make me not eligible to be considered Japanese anymore took place.

First of all, my rice cooker pot broke. This rendered me unable to make rice in a timely and convenient fashion. Cooking rice in a pot on the stove? As that meme would say, "Aint nobody got time for that!" As we all know, a Japanese person without rice is almost an exact comparison to a fish out of water. Unless of course the fish is going to be used for sushi, in which case that is the logical progression, but I digress. So, I broke my damn rice cooker. Although this may not seem like a huge deal, motha fukka's bills be tight recently. Motha fukka doesn't really have time or money to go out and just replace a rice cooker. Shit costs mad yen, homie.

It happened again. In a fit of desperation mixed with the perfect proportion of laziness and convenience in the grocery store, I happened upon the rice section in the infamous asian aisle. I saw that Morgan Freeman looking sonofabitch glaring back at me with his nice, big smile. I couldn't resist. I needed rice and this newfangled Uncle, who goes by Ben, claimed to have some bomb ass medium grain which would be cooked in five minutes! It was an offer I couldn't refuse. So I went home, and to get my fix of that white stuff I boiled that shiz up. In about 7 minutes I had a pot of my new friend Uncle Ben's goodness steaming away for my pleasure. I put some teriyaki vegetables and tofu on that shiz and I put some kimchi on the side. Now I know to most people somewhat familar with all of the components of that sentence there is now a mixture of Japanese food, white-man-minute-rice, and a korean staple on that plate. To most this would sound like some sort of prelude to another international dispute. Well, the thing is this... PSY made a catchy ass song, and kimchi is mad good. Uncle Ben came through in the clutch and got my ass some rice. Teriyaki vegetables and tofu need no damn explanation.

So this is the question I put out there for everyone: does the combination of me not having/breaking a rice cooker, coupled with cooking and eating Uncle Ben's minute rice disqualify me in some fashion from being Japanese?

I'd hope not, but you never know these days.